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<title>all lit up and i start to smile by cascrane (thunder_and_stars)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010489">all lit up and i start to smile</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunder_and_stars/pseuds/cascrane'>cascrane (thunder_and_stars)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>all the while the planet circles round the sun [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>no sleep in the city of dreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:33:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunder_and_stars/pseuds/cascrane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re a mess,” Marcos teases him gently.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” El says with a bright smile plastered across his face, eyes sparkling like fire.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Marcos says. His voice is soft and hoarse and empty, but his eyes flicker with warmth and his faded smile feels genuine. “You’re wonderful. Thank you.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>all the while the planet circles round the sun [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107590</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all lit up and i start to smile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>El shows up with bee stings dotting his face like freckles, red spots in the midst of the sun-warmed constellations that speckle his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have chicken pox?” Ale asks as he opens the door to find El waiting on the other side. El gives him an unimpressed look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marcos shoves his brother out of the way gently and steps into the doorway, reaching out to catch El’s hands in his. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” Marcos asks warmly, and El nods despite the faint flush of warmth across his skin that causes his ears to prickle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” El says. “Jamie lost control and I had to help him, but we didn’t have the proper gear for it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Marcos says, and El can see the warmth and the sadness in his eyes, paled to almost amber and almost glossy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>El knows that Marcos grieves for the bees as well. El knows that Marcos honors life, all life, no matter what. The bees deserved lives as much as anyone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Marcos repeats, and El nods with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They are simply guides and keepers. They are helpers. It hurts, to take a life. It hurts to watch a life be lost. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marcos is sensitive like nobody El has ever met, in the best way he has ever known. Marcos cares about what is and what could be. Marcos loves all life, honors all life, refuses to let life go unknown and unnoticed. Marcos truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>cares</span>
  </em>
  <span>, plain and simple, in a way El has never known.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>El has never been the best at simply </span>
  <em>
    <span>caring</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Marcos is the one who is good at that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” El says, when Marcos stays silent and stares at the ground. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They step inside the Sosa home gently, carefully. El takes barely a second to toe off his shoes, then follows Marcos into the house until they sink into chairs at the large dining room table that often seats far more people than could be practical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ale passes through the room silently. Sofie walks back in and places a small carton of strawberries on the table in front of the two boys, then hands a can of Sprite to El.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Marcos says softly, not looking up from the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always,” Sofie says, barely audible, and El wouldn’t have been able to figure out what she is saying if he hadn’t learned how to read lips from his years of wearing headphones every waking moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” El adds, tipping the can of Sprite at the older girl, and she gives him a faint smile and a look that he’s almost certain is a request to make sure Marcos eats.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sit at the table, eating strawberries, staring at nothing. El hums tones from the music he used to listen to as his mind wanders, and Marcos seems to almost smile. Marcos only gnaws tastelessly at his food, but El thinks it could definitely be worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The biting taste of Sprite melds with the strawberries as he sits with Marcos. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a mess,” Marcos teases him gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” El says with a bright smile plastered across his face, eyes sparkling like fire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Marcos says. His voice is soft and hoarse and empty, but his eyes flicker with warmth and his faded smile feels genuine. “You’re wonderful. Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His fingertips brush over the bee stings on El’s cheeks, sparking something that isn’t quite pain but isn’t anything El can place, either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Marcos says again, and now it feels more like an apology than a sympathy, and El wraps his fingers around Marcos’s wrists and pulls his hands away softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not Marcos’s fault. It’s not even El’s fault, or Jamie’s fault. It just </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Not everything is somebody’s fault.</span>
  </em>
  <span> That’s what Maia always said when they yelled a little too loud. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It doesn’t all need to be someone’s fault. Sometimes things just </span>
    <span class="u">
      <span>happen</span>
    </span>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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